I was going to write about a different Ankara

This week, I was going to write about two books on Ankara. Unfortunately, terror regulates our lives with blood. When I look at the front pages of newspapers, each and every photo of the victims finds its place in the sorrowful photo album of memory.  

It was years ago… a caricature competing in the Aydın Doğan Cartoon Contest was engraved in my memory. I have no doubt it affected everyone who saw this cartoon. A guy was about to depart home as if he was going to “work.” He had bombs wrapped around him; his wife was helping him put on his jacket… a suicide bomber was leaving home…

Any person who has seen the photos of the innocent people killed in heinous attacks should first do some “soul searching” and then talk about certain things.

I believe that whoever looks at these photos will perceive that there is no just cause in a human being killing another human being, whatever the reason. In my worldview, no belief, ideology or struggle justifies death.

How would a psychiatrist explain the phycology of the suicide bomber? I can grasp anything, but the psychology of sick souls extends beyond my knowledge. 

The photos and the captions on the front page of daily Hürriyet were enough to explain the dimension of the hate toward the perpetrator(s).  

The friends of the victims, their families, fathers, mothers, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, children… all of them make Gustav Mahler play in my mind. I cannot take my eyes away from the photos of the young people… the name of the masterpiece by Anna Seghers comes to my mind: “The Dead Stay Young.”

Best friends Ozancan Akkuş and Ali Deniz Uzatmaz eternalized their friendship when they met in death. 

I remembered a play; when fate made two friends meet at a bridge. I was interested in social media for the first time. I reviewed comments for the first time and felt as if I was sharing the pain of their loved ones. 

The photo where love pours out of the hugging father and son, the photo of a couple flying in the air with happiness, the father watching his football player son in a professional league match, young students, ordinary citizens… all of them were victims of this attack, this blind mentality.

I received an email from Alper Akçam that read: “Blind terror kills humanity and beautiful people. I have never met Oğuzhan Dura in person. This photo is the first time I have seen his face. He is one of the names we lost in the blind terror attack in Ankara on March 13. I first heard his voice on the phone in March 2013.
He was calling from [the eastern province of] Kars. He was an inspector at the General Directorate of Foundations. He was assigned to audit the Dursun Akçam Culture and Arts Foundation operating in Ardahan, of which I am the head of the executive committee.”

Alper Akçam was at first uneasy but he handed over the documents to Oğuzhan Dura and Remzi Köse. Later Dura called him and told him the foundation was achieving important works in the northeastern city and cited the aspects they had to improve in their documents. Alper Akçam had been in contact with him ever since.

He wished that he rests in peace and said he will be remembered for his contributions to a center that offers culture and arts in a remote corner of Anatolia. 

May god rest their souls, the ones I see in the photos, who have left this world for their eternal sleep…