If you comply with these rules, then you may go to the polls

You do not weep after the elections by saying, “But he has won again.”

You do not demonstrate a hatred for the people by saying, “This nation is hopeless.”

You do not complain constantly, “What has happened to us?”  

You do not cry out, “Oh God, how their vote rate has increased.”

You do not cover your face saying, “This cannot happen. He won in the first round.”

You will not feel as appalled as a Brazilian when the polls are opened.   

If you are not able to say, “It does not matter for me. This is also acceptable…”

Then on the day of Aug. 10, do not bother cutting your vacation short. You should not go to the polls and cast your vote.

Why does Nihat Hatipoğlu win?

He is exposed to the question “Can you chew gum while fasting?” about 1,850 times and he answers just the same. That’s why he wins.

When he comes across a question, “I am praying to meet my lover; she is also praying to meet her lover. Which one of our prayers will be accepted?” he does not protest, saying “What kind of a question is this?” That’s why he wins.

There is a curve at the corner of his mouth that symbolizes a person who has seen all and who knows all, but at the same time that curve looks very nice on him… That’s why he wins.

He sometimes raises his voice; he sometimes lowers his voice, and with this position, he makes the masses who are accustomed to the certain highly articulate politician say, “he is exactly like him.” That’s why he wins.  

He tells of very beautiful, very lyrical, very poetic, very ornamented, very simple, very touching and very exemplary sagas… That’s why he wins.  

Sometimes he cries… That’s why he wins.

He tells of Armageddon in such an effective style that makes even the staunchest atheist feel like he’s been there and back… That’s why he wins.  

And, mostly, he knows what buttons to push in dealing with aunties… That’s why he wins.

He abundantly uses those components based on show and visuality… That’s why he wins.

He does not utter one word that our people would not understand, would not construe, would find it hard or would be stressed about… That’s why he wins.

Just because he does not ‘speak a foreign language’

When Ekmeleddin İhsanoğlu’s candidacy was first announced, those who were presenting him as “fluently speaking five languages” were actually chiding Recep Tayyip Erdoğan a bit. This I what I have to say on this matter: To criticize a politician because he does not speak a foreign language is a loser’s attitude.

There is no association with speaking a foreign language and being a good politician. If there were such a link, then we would have been able to find a theory to explain why those who speak foreign languages dragged the country into a quagmire of crises.

Speaking a foreign language is not a criterion for success in politics; it is having good command of the language of the people.

‘His mother was Armenian’

Daily Akit has published a story to attack Fethullah Gülen: “Gülen’s mother is Armenian.”

Well, the real story is they misread her name “Rabia” as “Rabin.” And they made it their headline: “His mother is Armenian.”

It is now known to everybody that this newspaper is of a character that generates hatred out of the word “Armenian.” The problem is that this paper is our government’s favorite.

You are Turkey, act accordingly  

You are not one humble nongovernmental organization that cannot go any further than issuing a press release… You are the government of Turkey.

You are not an outraged opinion leader who cannot do anything else but cry out his anger… You are the prime minister of Turkey.

You are not a teenager from the imam school who chants slogans at Beyazıt Square like “Down with Israel.” You are the foreign minister of Turkey.

Consequently, you have to do something more than chanting slogans, than boasting “I take Gaza’s side,” something more than comforting yourself by saying, “Our hearts are with the Palestinians,” something more than just saying “Down with Israel.”

Something like: mobilizing the international community, utilizing an effective diplomacy so that no more Palestinians die, developing an active stance against Israel’s recklessness…