Keep out of reach of children: This is a RTÜK report

I will share a Supreme Board of Radio and Television (RTÜK) report with you. For this reason, I will ask you not to have your children read this piece. Don’t say “what?”

RTÜK, which “aims to protect children” and has an anti-erotic character, has prepared a new report. It’s written in a language the likes of which could only be found under the counter in old Beyoğlu.

There is a music video for Rihanna and Shakira’s song, “Can’t Remember to Forget You.” Dream TV has applied auto-censorship over this clip and “simplified” it, just in case, but it was unable to save itself from the fine-tuning of RTÜK.

Do not try to retune your morals. I don’t know about the clip, but these expressions from RTÜK should be kept out of the reach of children.

Meanwhile, the writer of the report, who seems to be the master of “fantasies,” should be promoted to perhaps write screenplays for future videos by Rihanna, Shakira, Lady Gaga and the like. Or perhaps they should work in “other sectors.”

Let’s move on to the report. It describes what Shakira and Rihanna are doing in the video as follows:
“In the video in question, Shakira is frequently moving her hands between her legs in a bed with a close up. The two female artists are twisting with rhythmic movements and they are extremely scantily clad, with half of their bodies seen naked in the same bed…”

Oh, God

The writer of the report did not write, “Oh, God” anywhere, but it would have been quite fitting.
But they did go on to give the details of the sensual outfit, which I would certainly not remember if they asked me after making me watch the video:

“Shakira is wearing an outfit with long, red fringes. Rihanna is wearing an outfit resembling a swimsuit with black tulle and she is seen on the screen, in a negative image in which she rubs/brushes her back and her hips against the wall…”

Following these honorable expressions of “rubbing/brushing her hips,” which were penned with the highest level of morals, here is how the incidents unfold:

“From time to time, they show a special closeness with their backs attached to each other. Also, one of the artists, Shakira, is filmed underwater in a transparent outfit, while her long hair gives the image of covering her breasts. However, she can clearly be seen naked…”

Dear Miss Shakira

Now, Miss Shakira, if you do these things, do you expect the report writer and the “supreme board” will sit still quietly? Of course they won’t…

They then said the following: “Taking into consideration that the erotic dances and movements exhibited [in the video] bring to mind homosexuality, and that these images are of a kind that could constitute a role model for children and the youth…” They have now fined the channel based on Law No. 6112, Article 8 of the Penal Code…

I don’t know which of these are more moral: This clip that has cost Dream TV “three times 12,500 Turkish Liras,” or the expressions in the report?

I leave the decision to you…