A guide to fighting against those who say there may be a coup

The general scene is exactly like this: Military tutelage has been totally lifted. The gendarmerie will probably report to the government soon. The military in every sense is under the command of the civilian government.

The “Red Book” is not written by the military anymore. The Kurdish issue is not monopolized by the military anymore. The civilian government can make decisions in most critical issues without asking the military.

The only decision maker in foreign policy is the civilian government, not the military. We no longer know the names of the force commanders. The Chief of General Staff does not issue statements or notifications. There is no risk in criticizing generals.

Nobody takes a second look at articles starting with, “Look here, Chief of General Staff, buddy…” There is no mention of a situation of “the military’s obsession with reactionaryism.” If needed, generals are jailed after being handcuffed. People who check whether the lights of the offices of the General Staff are switched on overnight are considered mentally unstable. 

In such an environment, you should know that anyone who says “there may be a coup at any time” is ridiculing your intelligence.

To whoever says, “There may be a coup at any time,” do this: Laugh out loud immediately. Very loud. Because such nonsense can only be beaten off as such.

This is how ‘New Turkey’ starts

Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoğlu has said, “Someone can learn about a development plan for a certain region. He goes and buys land there and becomes rich. But this is forbidden by religion; this is immorality. Especially if this person learns about the development situation through a politician or his acquaintances in the municipality, this is abuse of power by the politician.” 

A “New Turkey” is not born when President “A” is changed to President “B.” The “New Turkey” starts with such differences in approaches.

How to keep sane

Those who closely monitor politics face a really tough challenge nowadays.

First it can be cried out, “The Democratic Union Party [PYD] is a terrorist organization. There is no difference between the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant [ISIL] and the Kurdistan Workers’ Party [PKK] or the PKK and the PYD.”

“All right,” you say to yourself, Turkey’s official position has become clear. They are accepting the PYD as a terrorist organization. Therefore, they will not even give water to the PYD.

But just as you are warming to this position, the same mouths say something completely different the next day. They say, “In order to support the PYD, I proposed the transit of the Peshmerga across the border to support the PYD.” They make analyses and say “Jailed PKK leader Abdullah Öcalan has acted incredibly full of responsibility throughout the Kobane incidents.”

“All right,” you say to yourself, Turkey’s official position has become clear. It means that they will say “Öcalan is good, but those advising him are bad.” They will continue to regard Öcalan as the more moderate interlocutor.

But just as you are warming to this position, Deputy Prime Minister Yalçın Akdoğan will speak up and say, “Öcalan has agitated the Kobane incidents.”

Then they will say, “Opening a corridor is not possible in terms of the law and politics.”

“All right,” you say to yourself, Turkey’s official position has become clear. It will not allow a corridor to be opened. Opening a corridor is out of the question.

But just as you are warming to this position, they suddenly decide to open a corridor.

Then, a member of Öcalan’s visiting delegation, Sırrı Süreyya Önder, announces that Öcalan will have a five-member secretariat. You say “All right, so the process will continue.” That means important stages have been overcome.

But just as you are warming to this situation, Deputy Prime Minister Bülent Arınç snaps, “There is no such thing. Those who are saying these things may have been speaking about their wishes, their demands…”

My proposal is this: Those who monitor politics closely should be monitored closely by mental health doctors, because there is a thin line left before they go crazy.