A new fighting technique for the Turkish parliament

I am not someone who finds the efforts to find solutions to sports, especially football, under the roof of the parliament credible.

From their approaches to crisis to their way of debating issues, it is evident that they do not carry the spirit of an athlete.

Let me flashback to 2008. A football match was organized between the parliamentarians and the sports club of the blind within the framework of activities for the week of handicaps.

The match ended with a victory of 7 to 3 in favor of the parliamentarians!

Then those 11 parliamentarians received a congratulatory letter about how they show a gentlemanly attitude and proved they have a decent character by beating the blind athletes 7 to 3.

That letter came from the minister responsible of women and family, Nimet Çubukçu. She had congratulated them for their grand victory (!) and added that she expected continued success.

There is obviously a back story to Çubukçu’s reaction. The previous year, the team of parliamentarians had won against the team of orphan kids 3-2 and the kids had cried in the middle of the football field!

An unconventional technique

As you know, the Constitutional Commission that was established to reach a consensus became all messed up while they were discussing the issue of immunities.

Fists thrown, parliamentarians on the tables... This is a scene we are all very familiar with.

They are struggling in this chaotic environment. There is no technique. You can feel the lack of basic training at all points. Everything is wrong.

I was sad obviously. Is that the way the brave members of my parliament should fight?

Just as I was watching the scenes of the war zone on television, I said to myself, “We need to have a national and local fighting style.”

I have been following the fighting of parliaments from all over the world. Don’t ask me why I do that. But let me just say that I do not miss one. 

Let’s know the rivals

Ukraine! Indeed, one of the most dangerous parliaments. A very harsh environment. 

Taiwan! Yes…They are very organized and they are also very creative. 

Japan. Even in fighting they maintain a level of respect. 

Fights are very popular in the Brazilian parliament. Nigerians are extremely talented at jumping from one bench to the other.

Those in India are scary as well.

Kosovo is very creative. They like pepper gas and throwing eggs!

I find Nepal quite theatrical while slogans in Kenya are very melodic.

Italy is close to Turkey. Georgia seems to have been influenced by Ukraine.

In Jordan, things can get nasty. A member of the parliament was shot with an AK-47 in the corridors.

I think our parliamentarians should devote their time and energy to develop fighting techniques rather than trying to win against blind people or orphans.

They can set up a commission for that. They could invite the wrestlers, boxers, Kung Fu fighters and they should endorse an original fighting method.

Afterwards they can either fight against each other or invite their counterparts from Ukraine and see who is better using the back garden of the parliament.