Is anybody having normal sex in Turkey?

Belgin Akaltan - belgin.akaltan@hdn.com.tr

Police took extra security mesaures for the trial about the the child abuse case in Karaman. Photo DHA

Let me define “normal” first. Let me start with heterosexual relationships, the ones that are accepted by society. What I am trying to get at is the situation of married sex in Turkey, which I believe constitutes the bulk of all sex life in this country. 

Before that, let me say, once again, that I am not a sex expert. I am only an observer, reporter and outspoken person. We are an extremely normal couple, I and my husband; so normal that you can call us dull. What I do is that I can talk and write about sex openly and easily. That’s all. I don’t have a lot of sex experience with a lot of men as some of my readers think, or my husband is not a loser who just tolerates me, as most of my readers have suggested. We happen to get along well and have a pleasant sex life; there is no embarrassment in this. We are both almost 60 and have been married for more than 35 years. 

I believe sex has a huge impact on our lives. When you can sort out and solve your problems in sex, then you can pretty much sort out any other problems in life. That is my line. 

Sex seems to be a problem in Turkey. A happy, normal, satisfying sex life seems to be rare in Turkey, which turns most of us into unhappy, bitter, annoying creatures who are constantly interested in the private lives of other people, other couples and especially young people. We love to “correct” others by banning, hating, discriminating, intimidating, bashing, shouting and displaying intolerance. As if we have nothing to correct domestically, we try to correct others. That’s the only explanation that comes to my mind for the extreme, perverted interest shown here toward the body parts of women and little children. This is truer for conservative segments. 

The above question of whether anybody has a normal sex life in Turkey comes up during child abuse scandals, rapes, rape-related murders, incidents of domestic violence, never-ending “family honor” murders and the seldom-spoken but quite widespread reality of incest in our country.  

Looking at the recent and not-so-recent incidents that have occurred, one cannot stop pondering what the mainstream sexual orientation in Turkey is. Pederasty? (This means being interested in young boys.) Or is it straightforward pedophilia? (This means being interested in prepubescent children.) Instead of calling the ongoing social catastrophe and sugarcoating it with the phrase “child brides,” we should actually directly call it pedophilia. Why on earth would elderly men be interested in underage kids? Why on earth can this be tolerated by others in society? 

Is everybody a pervert in Turkey? How many people, how many teachers and how many imams are interested in underage kids? The teacher who used to work in a charity foundation and who was charged with child abuse was sentenced to 508 years in one session last week. This is the fastest Turkish justice has ever got. This guy will probably hang himself or fall from a high wall in prison within a couple of months. 
Oh, how much I love living in Turkey. You don’t even need to be smart…

I have one more question: How many Turkish men have ever asked themselves, “Am I sexually satisfying my wife?” Have you ever heard a Turkish man use “sex, satisfaction and wife” in the same sentence? The whole concept is like a threat to their existence. Most Turkish men are raised to believe that when they marry a woman, this is about all the satisfaction a woman can ever get or ask for. Mission accomplished. What more could a woman want? 

Why should a married man try and exert an effort to try to improve the sex life in his relationship? Can a married Turkish woman ever talk about sex to her husband? If there are any problems, would they talk about them and try to find a solution? 

Earlier this week, main opposition Republican People’s Party (CHP) deputies filed a motion of censure against Education Minister Nabi Avcı for “lowering the quality of educational activities, causing child abuse cases to increase.”

He answered with statistics and tried to prove his point by documenting that the ratio of civil servants who were dismissed on sexual charges were not particularly higher during his term. The motion was rejected with the votes of the ruling AK Party. 

Oh, I love majoritarian democracy so much.

Also, to repeat, I really love living in Turkey. You don’t even need to be smart…


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